Black or White?

I lie awake at night

To see the world but not in your light

Remove the facade, these masking colours

Show me the real thing, is it black or white?

 

I’ve always had a cause to doubt

Now my fears compound that fact

Made to believe there’s you and me

But there’s no you, is we really we?

 

Suffering from your many lies

Truth comes only in a pig’s eyes

You is not you outside your house

Take down those blinds, are you black or white?

 

Grey is not your colour, it’s your escape

Don’t sit on the fence, pick a side

In this sea of many faces, I want no grey areas

Are you friend or foe?

Home Truths

Meet me by the river side, where the tears flow

Meet me on the other side, where the light is low

Join me on this ride, the journey could only get rougher

Join me in the band, the music could only get sadder

 

Be happy you have friends to cry with

Be glad you have foes to pound out your frustration

Maybe we would get out someday, to a brighter side

Maybe we would escape this bondage someday, to a place where only river flows

 

Till death do us part may be a lie

And love can die

Let us find solace in one other

And at night, lie in soaked sheets dreaming of sunny days we hope to see.

NAKED

I am bare

I am open

I am uncovered

I am unshielded

Harsh lines of pain

Smooth curves of pleasure

A canvas with different shades of me

For you to manipulate

Good or bad, it’s up to you

To cover or discover, your choice to make

Your delight, my obsession

I am made a puppet for you by my feelings

All you see is all I am, no hidden treasures or treachery

For this nudity I ask that you do not show me to the world

But keep me in your deepest thoughts and your wildest dreams

Unobnubilated II

The struggle is hard

Hoping to forget your face, trying to forget that smile

That song, that melody, every time I hear it a break a little inside

That scent, that aura reminds me of the times we were together

And anytime dejavu moments like these happen again, I stop to think for a moment that we could be like we were before

Happy and without a care in the world

But I know that’s an illusion

So I shake my head vigorously to clear the confusion

Never again will I allow thoughts of you cloud my mind

Love is not blind and I was right leaving you

Emotion can’t see, and would have turned me a slave for you

I used to miss you and secretly pine for you

I was obsessed about someone you never were and refused to accept who you really are

Your true colours were shown but I preferred a world of grey

Then are realized I wasn’t in your story anymore and had been long forgotten

I guess this where you character ends in my story, a chapter titled, ‘Near Heartbreak’

So I had to let you go

I swear the struggle was hard

And these conflicting emotions weren’t helping especially when you’d wink at me

I talked to friends about it, to make sure I wasn’t going insane

Armed with common sense and lots of prayer, the chimera started to give way for reality

Finally, I can say that I’m happy, with or without you

I’m unobnubilated

rust

RUST

Strong and shiny you stood

Beautiful and daring many wanted to be like you

 

‘’I want a copper teapot’’ said someone.

‘’I think wood is best for furniture’’, an opinion was given somewhere.

‘’Polish the bronze we want it looking its best’’, an utterance that reached your ears somehow

 

So you thought you weren’t good enough

Maybe you felt you needed more

Or you just wanted to be everywhere

But no one is an island yet you refused to accept that fact

 

You sought freedom to change and breathed its fresh air

Immersed yourself in the waters of transformation and it was refreshing

 

Slowly you started to look like bronze but without a shine

So you thought copper’s look was best

And so it was for you except you had the texture of sand

So you opted for a wooden face but became too soft without achieving your aim

 

You looked at yourself broken, worn out, disappearing and without lustre, so decided to call the look unique

Unique it may be but useless, for no one seeks you

You’re not bronze neither are you copper, you’re nothing like wood and nothing good

Worst of all you are no longer iron

You’re nothing but rust

Nothing

Just rust

Rust

girlcryingintherain

Bleeding Heaven

Rain is falling, rain is falling, rain is always falling

My English teacher told me it is raining

My sister told me rain cannot fall

You said tears can drop

I said tears can flow

All these well proven facts

But you made rain fall

I saw it falling, you saw it falling, we always see it falling

Others did not

They refused to believe

But you made rain fall from my eyes

And it always falls.

Girl By The Window

I am sitting here all alone

I do not wish to be alone

But there is no one to hold

I look out the window and see people

But I do not see my friends

I look again

I see familiar faces

I still do not see my friends

Where have they all gone?

I do not know

Why did they go?

I do not know

Did I do something wrong?

Or am “I” the problem?

If the problem is them, I guess I do not see that

I will just keep hoping that we would be together once again, just like before

It might not happen in the nearest future or ever

But I will keep sitting here

Looking out the window

Looking for my friends

Beyond people

Beyond familiar faces

Offer Tag

I have given myself to you as a cake, not a piece

Take it with the icing and the calories or leave it

Nothing comes easy and everything has weight

Your trouble will be of lesser kilograms if you take it easy with me

I’m already what I want to be and if that isn’t enough, find another batter to mold into your pan

Past Absolute Zero

We began this journey of a hundred degrees

Though I was happy where I was, I’m happier with you in this warmer world of higher love degrees

Further we went, higher we ran, deeper we searched for heat in each others heart and between each others legs

We began to burn and people said we were sickly in love but no one tried to cure us

Our love burned brighter than a thousands stars but we hadn’t even reached the height of our love

But you decided to settle for what we had, “if we go any further, I might burn out, I’ll go crazy”

Those were the words you said to me and silence knew me

I was afraid anything I said will take us down

I think that’s eventually why we went down

I should have said something, anything, everything that was on my mind

So down we went till it got cold and colder until I could take it no more

“I’ll be here with you”, you said to me when I complained

So it got colder until there was no heat except between our legs

And we ravished it like it was the only means of survival in this cold harsh world

Until we became disgusted of each others greed

We went past 20, past 10, 0

I thought it couldn’t get any worse till we went past 0 too

And there we stood like forever until you said goodbye

And I knew silence, the loudest ever

The world was frozen still; the world shook with the worst earthquake never known

There was no sound; I heard a thousand ringing in my ears

I felt empty; I felt so heavy, my face fell with each weight

Each weight of realization that you were leaving me

“Maybe they were right”, I heard you say as you left “we really were sick”

Maybe if I had run after you, if had done something; like held your hand or slapped sense into you, anything at all

I wouldn’t be screaming out to you in the distance, behind this wall of ice you created between us

Saying,”they were wrong, even if we were sick together, we are dead apart”.

But you didn’t care, whether you heard or not I do not know

Maybe you were sick of being sick

So now I stagger blindly in this snowstorm with a frozen heart bleeding diamond icicles, looking for where it went wrong, refusing any offer of warmth and dying slowly

Because you left me past absolute zero

hands

HANDS

I feel laundered
It’s like being washed by many hands
Too many soaps
Too much detergent
And lots of scrubbing
Now even the truth has been washed out

I feel controlled
It’s like being pushed by many hands
And in all the roads I take
And all the paths I tread
I have no direction

I feel defeated
It’s like being beaten down by many hands
Every strike drives me further down
I keep falling
But not to the ground

I feel buoyed
It’s like being suspended by many hands
I can not reach the sky
Yet I am not allowed to touch the ground
I am paralysed hanging from my lifeline

I feel defiled
It’s like being touched by many hands
Too many caresses leave scars
The many more contacts
The many more bouts of loneliness

I feel possessed
There is a hundred million and one of me inside
It’s like being many hands
I could never keep track of their doings
And in all these madness and confusion
I’m just trying to find my real pair
I’m just trying to be my real pair

I feel a little light
It’s like being carried by just one hand
The burden is a little less heavier
And it’s bearable this way
It’s not the same as featherlight
But at least I can smile

Sometimes I feel nothing
It’s like having no hands
I get to do nothing
Watching is not an option
So I sit back and fold no arms

I feel scared
It’s like being haunted by many hands
A bone in every closet
Dreading their time of revelation
The time erosion reveals the secret of the grave